I almost didn’t publish anything today. It seems I’m running out of things to talk about. I’m thinking less about what I used to believe. It comes up less frequently in my thoughts and when it does it overwhelms me less and interests me less. This week I want to share an update on my deconversion story.
I’m not filled with anger, fear, frustration or regret, though those emotions do still visit me occasionally. They hit me hard when I hear my indigenous friends hurting over the past abuse. They hit me when I read yet another story of abuse and trauma from church leaders. They hit me when I read about my LGBTQ2S+ friends being hurt by Christian judgement and hatred. And sometimes it hits me when words of an old song go through my mind or memories of days gone by. Mostly though, I'm filled with contentment and an inner peace. I’m going on with life, seeing where I can make a positive difference in the world.
I’ve left Christianity. It's been a carefully made, thought through decision. I've talked to others. I've prayed. I've read Scriptures. I've learned from others. I’ve thought through the beliefs and teachings and I’ve lost my faith that Christianity is the truth. For the last 24 weeks I’ve shared that journey with you. I’ve talked through my grief, my thoughts about the harms done by both the church and the teachings as well as what my reconstruction has been looking like. My journey has been unique from anyone else’s. My journey isn’t over but this phase of it is over.
People have read my blogs and the vast majority of responses have come from people who are deconstructing or have deconverted as well. People have thanked me for sharing and shared their own lives with me and I am always open to hearing and talking more about these things. I have also heard from just a few who are Christians concerned about my views. Thanks too, for those shared words and prayers, I know you care. I hear you, but I’m not going back.
If someone has something they’d love to hear my thoughts on, please let me know and I will consider another blog. If not, I am going to take a break from blogging until 2024. I have other things on my heart and mind that I am hoping to share with all of you come the new year.
In the meantime, join me...
Let's keep thinking critically and carefully about what we have believed.
Let's keep thinking critically and carefully about what is going on around us.
Let's keep learning and keep growing.
Let's have compassion for ourself and for others.
Let's acknowledge our grief, loneliness, anxiety, anger and fear.
Let's remember it is okay when we are not okay and don't have it all together.
It may not be easy, but let's seek help in sorting out our thoughts.
We need each other.
Let's look for and find peace, wisdom, joy and beauty.
Let's share love freely and boldly.
Let's choose to withhold judgement.
Let's care well for ourselves, our community and our home, the earth.
Let's believe we are enough and that we matter.
Let's enjoy being the unique and amazing people that we are.
We have much to offer this world just be being who we are.
With much love, Val Martens, Dec. 1, 2023
Want to chat informally with me about your experiences? Email me, message me or let's go for coffee. I'd love to hear from you.
Read My Faith Deconstruction Story here. More articles are found here
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