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Writer's pictureVal Martens

Easter Greetings from an Ex-Christian

Easter greetings from an Ex-Christian. Let’s talk about navigating doubts and difficult family gatherings this Easter holiday season.


Orange with white flowers painting by Val Martens www.validart.ca

Happy Easter everyone.

For Christian’s, this is an easy one. Celebrating the resurrection of Jesus is at the core of your beliefs. It’s your most important reflection and the bunnies, chocolate and Easter eggs are a minor distraction to the palm leaves, cross and empty tomb. Being wished a Happy Easter resonates well for Christians.


For those who have deconverted this may be a hard holiday. Do you go to church on Sunday? Are your friends and families working a little extra hard to pressure you? Are your social media feeds clogged with Easter memes about lambs and crosses?  Will family gatherings be a time of discomfort? Do you have conflicting feelings and possible uncomfortable doubts about whether it could be true?


It’s ok if you doubt. Take a moment to stop and reflect again why you are where you are. You are free to change your mind. You are free to find a path or journey that works for you. Look at the cognitive dissonance that led you to this place. Are you willing to accept that God is mysterious and we can’t understand as long as we are on this earth? Are you willing to believe again without having the answers.


If you doubt because you’re not sure you are on the right path, not sure if you know what is true, then dig in to learning. Study both sides of the story. Listen to people you trust. Feel free to pray for answers.. Here people's stories. Check out the Bible. Consider the options of what to believe and the ramifications of your choice. 


If you doubt because you feel all alone, like you’re the only one in your circle who believes as you do, then reach out to others who think the same. Google the name of your city and deconstruction or deconversion or ex-Christian and see what you can find. Join online groups. Find a group of people with interests the same as you. There are people out there looking for your friendship just like you are looking for theirs. 


abstract gold, purple and orange with gold highlights painting by Val Martens www.validart.ca

Don’t be scared of doubt. If you are full of fear, you end up sitting in a place of anxiety, scared to think. At one point I was doubting my deconversion. I chose to do what scared me most. I read blogs and articles written by Christian’s about those leaving the faith. I read several books by Christians about deconstruction. In considering the arguments and looking up scriptures, I was not convinced that what I left was worth going back to. I found myself more certain of my path away from Christianity. I was able to leave behind the fear of having made a big mistake. 


If you struggle with meeting your family and encounter difficult conversations, remember you can say “I am not interested in talking to you about that” and then change the subject, the weather, sports, kids, jobs or food are all possibilities. You can excuse yourself from the room if you need to or turn and talk to someone else. In the moment, consider what options you have. Sometimes a conversation about the issue is best even if you disagree and other times avoiding helps most. Sometimes asking if they could please respect your decision even if they don’t agree can help. Do what you need to do. I just met with my family and am thankful the time together was peaceful and enjoyable even though we don't agree on lots of things.


 Whatever you are thinking or going through this Easter, I wish you a good weekend. One with relaxation, maybe some good visits and some tasty food. Spring is coming! (I believe this even though we just had days of snow and some blowing wind.) Enjoy watching for new growth, in the world and in yourself. 


Love you all, 

Val Martens 

3/29/2024




Want to chat informally with me about your experiences? Email me, message me or let's go for coffee. I'd love to hear from you.


Read My Faith Deconstruction Story here. More articles are found here 


Join My Deconstruction Journey FaceBook group here if you are in the process and want a safe, private and caring place to talk about what is happening.


Interested in being coached regarding deconstruction, grief or other concerns?  Let me know. 


Want to see more of my art or interested in purchasing some? Check out ValidArt here. 



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