Sometimes I wonder why Christians don't leave their faith. Why did it take me so long to leave? I have put together a list, "20 Reasons Christians Don't Leave Their Faith." It isn't complete or in any particular order, but it is a start at considering this issue. Perhaps you can see those you love or yourself in the list. Each Christian has the opportunity to choose their own faith and the chance to travel their own spiritual journey. I want to allow them to do so, but also encourage everyone to have the courage to examine what you believe, why you believe it and what the result of those beliefs are for you, for those around you and for the world.
Christianity is familiar and comfortable. Many Christians were born and raised in the faith. It’s all they know. What they are taught about other religions is negative and scary. Staying in the comfortable and familiar is always easier.
It’s hard to leave Christian community and the sense of belonging and connectedness. The church can be a good and welcoming community for many. That sense of belonging to the family of God leaves them feeling less alone. There is a feeling of connectedness when your theology and beliefs are right and correct like others around you. You are part of a big exclusive, correct club.
Intellectual critical thinking is not encouraged. Christians are told to control their thoughts. They are encouraged to stop learning and thinking on ideas that oppose Christianity lest they backslide. They ignore any cognitive dissonance or distortion of language. They are okay with the closed logic system.
It’s easier to live with rules and purpose. Christianity offers a black and white thinking of right and wrong. There are rules to help you be a good Christian. Many people prefer to live within a system of rules and beliefs. You then know where you stand. Christianity is also the self proclaimed owner of morals. Those who have no faith are seen as being without morals. God gives purpose, to glorify him and to spread the gospel. It is hard to leave and not know your purpose.
It’s easier to live without freedom and responsibility. Christians are told to submit to God, to lay down their lives. God is in control and responsible. Freedom is given up easily to live under this control. Not my will but thine be done. Responsibility to the earth, to justice, to loving others seem to be part of the Christian’s life choices, but only insofar as it fits under the Christian belief system. For example, if the earth will burn, why take care of it, or if a human is homosexual, which is sin, then love may be offered, but not without conditions.
Christianity gives easy forgiveness for sins. Forgiveness is freely given when asked for sins committed. You may be a sinner, but you are washed clean in Jesus’ blood. God forgives others, so who are you to not forgive? Consequences for abuse and hurtful actions are often ignored because forgiveness has been granted. This, concerningly, leaves the abuser ready to repeat their actions without consequence.
Leaving Christianity is too scary. Fear of hell, isolation, being in the world, and shame for not making it as a Christian are some of the things facing a Christian who leaves the faith. It is easier to stay than face these fears.
Pascal’s wager means one should believe God exists. If God doesn’t exist, you will lose nothing. If you don’t believe and he does exist, you will lose everything. So believe, just in case. But what if you have bet on/chosen the wrong God to believe in? What if God is smart enough to realize your belief isn’t sincere, but rather just the safest bet? Can you simply just decide to believe?
Judging is helpful. When one judges the sins of others, one can feel more righteous. I am not so bad as that sinner, they think. Leaving Christianity means looking at people not as sinners to be saved, but as people with needs, hurts and wounds who need compassion and love, not saving. The other part of judgement is that anyone who has hurt me or those I love will be tortured forever, their punishment is coming.
Christians have the promise of safety, healing, protections, thriving and more. Scripture makes so many promises to the believer in this world and the next. If one leaves the faith, one would lose the hope that these promises will one day come.
Witnessing has reverse effects. We need to witness, to help save the world. But the benefit is not just to those who will listen. If I say it to others, and you say it to others, it must be true. Repeating the doctrine to others gives it importance and validity to believers. Christian stay because witnessing helps convince them it is all true.
Christianity contains excitement. You could be living with persecution, you may need to smuggle Bibles, you get to hear testimonies of addicts or exSatanists. Christians have power over Satan and evil. That is exciting! You may experience the Holy Spirit in amazing ways, hear the voice of God, see signs and wonders. You as a Christian are unique, chosen and different from the world. You are saved from being insignificant. What will you be if you leave?
Christians have a future reward. Christians are right and the elect. They get to go to Heaven. They will be rewarded as a good and faithful servant and earn jewels in their crown. If they leave they will lose it all.
Christian traditions and family ties are hard to leave. There is group, family and historical pressure. How can they all be wrong and me right?
Christianity controls my emotions and desires so they don’t overtake me. Christians can’t trust their own heart or desires. They must trust Christ. If they leave will they be overwhelmed by pride, grief, fear, anger, sorrow, depravity and more?
Christians have faith and can work out their salvation with fear and trembling. Faith means they don’t need all the answers, they just have to believe. If they believe, they can also work on spiritual disciplines and practices to be the best Christian they can be. One can always try harder and believe more.
Christians believe the experiences of feeling God are real. They hear his voice and feel his presence. If they leave the faith will they then be without these feelings? The experiences convince Christians of the truth of God. How do they then explain the spiritual experiences of non Christians?
Guilt manipulation keeps Christians strong in their faith. Christ died for one’s sins, therefore they owe him their all. They are responsible for other’s souls so must witness. They must be perfect like God is perfect but can’t focus on themselves.
Power of authority keeps Christians strong. Christians love their church and their pastors. How could their beloved leader be wrong? Pastors have a subtle power over their congregations who pray for and obey them as commanded in Scripture.
Christians have their needs met. The needs of a person are met by God and the church. This includes comfort, peace, love, joy, courage, healing, resilience, emotional strength, etc. This source is external. Any transformation for good in a person was done by God for his glory and not their own work. The internal resources of a person have atrophied. Christians just aren’t used to meeting their own needs and this can be a frightening place to go to when leaving the faith.
20 reasons why Christians don’t leave their faith shows us it is easier to stay Christian. The reasons seem valid, but perhaps they could be reconsidered. What's the impact of your beliefs? Why did I leave? I can only speak for myself. As I got to know more people, to look at the world around me and to read more, I found a world that was complex and amazing. The Christian paradigm didn't fit so easily. My straightforward reason is that when I began to see that the Christian assumptions and beliefs were too simplistic, I then saw there there was available to me a new way of freedom and of love and compassion for myself and others. This was irresistible and outside of the Christian faith. Though not easy, it has been worth it.
With love,
Val Martens
May 31, 2024
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